Elm Grove

by Joe Blackford

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released November 27, 2016



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Joe Blackford Croydon, UK

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Track Name: Role Models
she’s a good girl but she knows better,
there’s misery in staying together.
and she’s old enough, to hate her mother,
and to believe that the guy she’s seeing has one lover.
and I see her on the weekends, she says it’s a lot like hanging out with her best friend.
does that make me a cool dad?
Or just the worst role model a young kid could ever have.

and I’ll, be proud, of however you turn out.
and I’m sorry, If I failed, If I messed you up somehow,
I was just trying to figure it out.

She still asks me, how were the noughties?
did your old band just give up completely?
Did you an mum ever think to abort me?
come on now you know I’m no good at talking.
I’ll admit it weren’t easy,
Tory tax cred and selling old ciggarrettes
that your mother brought me,
before she worked out I’m going nowhere,

and she left, she said "with you, I’m always miserable."
I don’t blame her it’s cool, maybe I should’ve stayed in school,
and maybe you should too.

i”ll build a fort, when everything is sea,
promise to give you more time than they gave me.
I’ll teach you all, the things that I believe,
we don’t kill the little things we set them free.
Track Name: Grazed Knees and Greensleeves
she was 18 when she fell in love,
singing Greensleaves on a london bus.
with a boy she just met in some roughed up club,
she said ‘oh my God I don’t do this much.'
they made up stories about the people they passed,
shared cigarettes with some homeless drunks,
talked about love, and how stupid war is,
the world is fudged but not everything’s pointless.

since I, I think i love you, is that a little too cheesy,
and I, will do anything for you, til' the day I stop breathing.

now she’s 22 with no faith in fellas, he got her pregnant, panicked, an left her altogether,
left her with a kid born in December, this month’s hard enough but the days just get wetter
yeah she got dealt one son of a bitch, she said 'we are who we are make the most of it, I may be stoned but I love that kid, in a council home, can’t afford the rent, but just so you know I wouldn’t change a thing,

cos I, I'll always love you, is that a little too cheesy,
and I, will do anything for you, till the day I stop breathing.

I grew up with grazed knees, in a messy house,
You kept your mistake here, and I’m grateful now.
We go climbing dead trees, at our friends’ house,
she said it looks scary, just don’t look down.
Track Name: Friends, Thieves and Chemicals
She handed me a wrap an said boy you got talent, but instead of getting out there, you're sat here being nothing.
Yeah I'm poor as F, that I'm living off handouts, but I'd rather be flat out, than sell my guitars.
Jack called her a bitch, said she always getting drugged up, I said she's never been loved much, don't we all need love?
An Jack says he drinks out of boredom more than sadness,
I think maybe they're related,
Cos' no one's bored that much.

It's a funny world, don't know if I love or hate myself,
She says I'm just like my dad,
He sucks at love as well.
Ah well.

We took off in my car, Sean said he knew a cool place, with some stuff to help us talk straight, chemicals in my brain.
We talked of God and we talked of our mothers, he said I know how much they love us, but I'm a cynic on faith.

It's a cheap parody, coupla druggies an a coupla thieves,
But mother loves her young,
She says you mean the world to me.

I still wake up lonely, next to a woman I love,
I can be the devil and I can be holy, it’s all in my heart.
and I’ll make you happy, with a million masks,
cos I am your devil, I am your holy, I’m whatever you want.
Track Name: Long Live the Bad Times
somewhere, my name it means nothing,
Once dead, I’m dead, I kinda like that
I’ve been scared, and I’ve drank myself stupid,
just to feel at home.

Another funny monday, gotta drag me out of bed, stop the lonely,
it hurts man but I don’t care I’m past that,
Some council estate bastards, drug themselves with songs.
why do I get angry when it's just another day.

money never stays with drunkards I heard him say,
started out with a purpose now I’m hungry,
it’s funny how we all get anxious over yesterday,
long live the bad times, or we wouldn’t feel happy.

truth is, girl I bet you’re getting bored with the
same face, same talk, that’s all I am man,
I’m old hat, but if you wanna wear it
that’s cool with me, do what you want,
cos My mind's, still dried out from last night, at least twice I hit on some guys girl but he let it slide, he said I'm too drunk to know what's right. What a great guy.
He said
Why should I be angry when it's just another, just another day.
Track Name: Dolly
You got hand me downs, kinda baggy,
I feel good anyhow, cos it's sunny.
and when Jack comes out, we'll be drinking,
down in Kingston town, by the river.

You got your dole money in mate,
so come down for a pint at the pub mate.
We won't think until the morning and we don't think when we can afford it.

Get up and put some trust in you,
yeah we're dumb but I can be your friend when you need me to.
Track Name: Wannabe Jim Carrey
I think about you every night, love does me over every time.
If I could shut you out for life,
Like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
Then I wouldn't write such sad songs,
and sing them to your answerphone,
saying "call me back if you get the chance,
or the man I am, will fall apart."

If I go away now, would it make it better,
If I Hibernate for, most of this winter,
Would we come out in the spring, saying man we're the best of friends.
saying it all worked out in the end.

I think about you every night, love does me over every time.
If I could shut you out for life,
Like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
then I wouldn’t cry myself to sleep,
over photographs and old receipts,
I lived alone before, and I,
can live alone again in time.
Track Name: Sad Taste
why do you taste of sadness, a heavy heart on the tip of your tongue, in my mouth
why do we talk in circles, are we both too scared to say what we want, how dumb.

The sad, will stay, if you never say,
that I miss him, and I think about it every day.

why does it always rain here, heavy clouds on the back of my mind, old life.
An I haven't been to church since, a funeral to say my goodbyes, it's like,

I always, hide away,
embarrassed by the tears on my face,
but I miss him, and I think about it every day.
Track Name: Alex and Max
do you remember when we used to talk friend, and play out in the sun,
our only problem was if you’re mum found, our imaginary guns.
we used to sneak downstairs to the kitchen, when everyone was asleep,
but then your dad came and caught us eating, man did you get beat

then your old man passed away, an I didn’t know what to do.
i know we were young but I should’ve stayed, and been there like a best friend should.

now we were all getting older, started bothering trees,
started noticing others daughters, and retching on cheap whiskey,
sneaking off in the summer, to meet some girls in a park,
before we knew what love meant, and indeed a broken heart.

yeah all of our clothes were baggy, when we went out in the dark,
to tell you the truth man I miss you lately, or I just miss being young.

menthols burning through raincoats, half cut, got lost on the way home.
old sheets covered in breadcrumbs, your mum was angry that we didn’t phone.

old bikes, broken and slighted, we came as explorers not fighters,
some days grassed up by brothers, a lot of work for poor single mothers.

nowadays we don’t talk much, but when you’re down mate you can stay,
the young days of borrowing suits to sleep in old halls, nobody gets that but you and me.
Track Name: Beautifully Composed
Beautifully composed, you always come around here and take off all your clothes, you say they're meaningless but God will only know.
Heart increased with pain, it falls below there's another one again, you caught me crying you said love it must be fate, so dry your eyes and go home.

Cause I don't love you anymore so go home and forget my name,
it hurts I know and it's hard to do, but didn't you say time heals everything.

lonely at the seams, I kept seeing you crying in my dreams, woke up to find myself sobbing in my sleep, big salty tears.
and all our friends they wanna help, they say things like there's plenty other girls, got good intentions but they don't know the hell, going on in my mind.