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Jigsaw

by Rabidwhelk

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1.
I try to stay busy but I get home from work at 3. That's a lot of time to think about you. and all the songs I write are dreadfully melancholic and sad, I wonder if you think about me too. I know I should be on my way, I just wanted to see your face, I wanted to see the world I knew before it all went strange, then I'll go away. Do you remember that one night when we were at kez' house, I was brave enough to tell you how I felt, we sat for hours in her bath tub til the night gave out, an you taught me all about chasing dragons. 'Hey ho are you feeling okay?', is all I hear from each sad face, I don't wanna talk and I don't want to explain, how it got this way. I tore up my love on the bathroom floor, it broke with every word I sang and glued up my heart, it feels a lot like winter, in the middle of July, but I think I can see the sun, it's saying I'll be alright, I'll be alright.
2.
If we burn it down quick then we won't have the scars, were the words that I heard in Sainsbury's car park, and I couldn't cry and I couldn't feel, for I knew she was right, that woman of steel. Well I took to my car and drove far away, but the M25 brought me back here again, you just have to laugh cos it helps with the pain, of a juxtaposed heart on a beautiful day. If you couldn't tell I'm down, yeah it's another sad song from my mouth, I'm getting pretty good at them now I can't get out of my own mind, so let's be free, and I'll sleep with the birds and the bees, if that's a euphemism for company, then let it be, cause I told my mother everything. So I get on my drinking with a few loyal friends, cause it's better than thinking who's in between your legs. I don't mean to sound callous, I don't mean to sound cruel, but you said to forget all those metaphorical songs. "Why can't you write more songs like example" "Do something with your life cause I know you've got potential" "Get out of your house and out of Carshalton then you won't be down." Are you proud, that I'm 26 and only just discovered honesty?
3.
Something, is eating me up inside, But I can't say it, that's why I lie, lie, lie. Because I still love you, harder than a man can, and if you tell me it's worth it, I'll make it alright. I woke up one morning, and she said I love you, but I'm not in love. So I put on my coat for the pouring rain coz she don't need my love like she did yesterday. Sometimes, you gotta let it go, I've been her before so man I should really know, And I know you don't want this hurting, you're the summer of love in a modern hippy, and I, will be fine, when you say 'you know I think we're better off friends', yeah I lived alone I can do that again. it's time, to divide, our lives.
4.
Did you always think of yourself? Oh my love, Did you notice when she needed your help, The depths of my soul jeer. An I pray that we can come back from this, An I can't fix my mistakes, but I can love you. Do you care now when I'm not around, I hope you do. I tried to tell you but no words came out of my mouth. Call me again when you have the time, cause I'm tired of being alone, if you tell me to forget then I swear I'll try, try to make another place my home. And of all these things I've done, trying to make confidence. I really loved you more than you thought. Of all these things I've done, trying to give you confidence wasn't one. I really loved you more than you thought. I show that now. When they built the world they tore the whole thing down, fed up of love it's so negative, I can't defend this cause my face looks out for the same old love, the same old love.
5.
Just Ducky 02:18
You Know what makes me smile, is when people smile back. Like we forgot what we want, and remembered what we have. Makes me feel real. I question life's beginning, and I question why I'm sad, we're sorry that you're leaving, but tell him I understand. I don't like to talk, maybe my lungs are cracked, she said no you're alright, you're just hard to understand. Why are you looking lonely, when you say you love being alone, I guess you're right, can I come over, coz you're starting to feel like home. I write sad songs when I'm happy, and sad songs when I'm sad, coz sometimes life is lousy, but it's the best life I ever had, I'm still a happy man.

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Written and recorded by Joe Blackford

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released August 4, 2014

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Joe Blackford Croydon, UK

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